Having observed many people aged 30 to 50, the secret seems pretty simple:
- Don’t be bitter!
This can be broken down somewhat:
- Don’t blame other people
- Don’t judge people – judge actions, not people
- Move on – bad things happen to everyone
- Find productive ways of dealing with negative emotions
Easier Said than Done
- Keeping fit and healthy appears to be the foundation
- Use bitterness as energy and use it productively to improve yourself if you can’t just let go – anxiety and insecurity are the best motivators
- Logical thinking isn’t always the best way to think. Whatever makes you happy is – this might be related to seeing the good in things, belief in religion or optimisim, logical thinking is not always best..
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- Find the good in everything – there’s always something good, even in suffering – suffering is necessary for personal growth
You Are What you Consume
- Stay away from negative media like the news & the newspapers
- Stay away from negative people whenever possible
- Eat well – foods that cause inflammation like sugar, have been shown to cause depression
- Find a productive way of dealing with negative emotions – exercise, meditation, hiking, working etc. Turn the negative into positive actions
- If you can’t do any of the above – allow yourself to have a 10 minute rant at an appropriate time each day – “boxing the chimp”*
- Don’t do the shitty victim thing or retelling or creating an anecdote of how someone mistreated you, skewing or missing out information to ensure you look like the victim and telling anyone who’ll listen
- *Boxing the chimp – a phrase from the Chimp Paradox book – more info here.
I’ve always been happy and continue to be happy
Good to hear – I wish I could say the same! I’m working on it…
Exercising and being fit are the keys to most things in life. Our mental conference included.
You expressed it well in your handwritten note.
Certain needs are paramount for our happiness and contentment.
Me personally as I’ve gotten older I’ve had to learn how to grow mentally and spiritually more.
Realizing I’ve peaked physically and am not going to get better no matter what I do. That’s hard for us as men to initially accept.
Mentally with meditation, controlling my thoughts, and improving that aspect has become my new challenge.